“She gets paid more than me and I do more work!” “I should have gotten that promotion.” “I contribute more around the house than he does.” “I’m a better player, I should have started that game.” We ALL know that LIFE ISN’T FAIR!  How we deal with lack of FAIRNESS can hinder or propel our character development.  There is a little story in scripture that Jesus told about men who showed up and different times to do work in a vineyard. However, they all got the same pay.  The nerve of the manager.  At the end of the story Jesus gives us clear instruction that it isn’t for us to begrudge the generosity of the Father.  What about you?  What do you do when the outcomes aren’t fair?

“I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. ¹⁵Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me?”  Matthew 20:14-15

When we think we are deserving of more, there is something in us that screams “I want justice!”

What to Do When Life Isn’t Fair…

#1 Cheer – That is right, Cheer for the person who got that undeserved merit.  After all, the whole basis of understanding Jesus and the Gospel is based on the grace of Jesus.  When you realize you don’t get what you deserve because of the cross, Jesus and grace, it clears everything up.  So go ahead, celebrate when others succeed and surpass you.  Trust me it won’t feel FAIR.

#2 Be Thankful – Entitlement will ruin your life and your relationship with Jesus.  When you think God owes you something, you will ruin your life.  When you think someone owes you something, it will ruin your relationship. In marriage, next time you catch yourself thinking you do more work and are contributing more, be thankful for your relationship, that you have someone to love and take care of.

#3 Forgive – Ever been stepped on, manipulated, lied to or misled, only to find out the person was playing you for a fool?  Mistrust is never FAIR.  Sometimes after you are deceived the very person who deceives you will seem to get away with it.  Our job is to forgive.  I know it isn’t FAIR.   I know it hurts.  It isn’t your fight, it’s their integrity.  Never let seeds of bitterness drive your actions. 

#4 Keep Quiet – This may be even harder than forgiveness because when we are wronged, we insist the whole world knows about it.  And please, NEVER and I mean NEVER “out someone” on social media.  Keep it to yourself, go to the gym, go for a run, relax.  Gossip is bringing someone into the situation who is neither part of the problem or the solution.  TELL NO ONE!

#5 Worry About Yourself – Here is what I mean: work that much harder! When someone gets a promotion over you, double down on your commitment to the company.  When someone seems to be getting special treatment, worry about your own work ethic and character.  When brother or sister gets the extra cookie at dessert, well, just get over it. Worry about yourself.

#6 Serve Someone NOW – When you serve someone it isn’t fair.  They usually don’t deserve it.  You are literally beating down your desire for fairness and equity.  You are saying, “give me the short end of the stick, I’m ok with it.”  Then smile, don’t be proud of it or wear it as a badge of honor.  Just quietly serve and love until it feels so unfair it feels just about right.

You will get discriminated against, you will be treated unfairly.  Life isn’t FAIR!

Now go and serve someone and expect nothing in return.  “So ^(I)the last will be first, and the first last.”  Matthew 20:16

Josh

Josh is the lead pastor of 217church, a multi-site, contemporary church in Mercer County NJ planted in 2010.  217church is a family with small groups in New Jersey and Pennsylvania that meets Sundays in the Hamilton AMC24 Theater 9:30 & 11am and Grace Rogers School in East Windsor, NJ at 10:15.  Our new East Windsor Campus meets every Sunday.  If you are looking for a church in East Windsor NJ, Hamilton NJ, Mercer County, Middlesex County or Bucks County, PA, don’t miss our weekend services. Visit www.217church.com for more information.