Category Archives: Family

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What Makes Churches Grow?

I have been asked the question and done a lot of research about what makes churches grow.  I have talked to other pastors and leaders and have a passion for helping people succeed in their mission.  I want all our churches to grow!  Not just ours but EVERY CHURCH IN HAMILTON!   Here is the punch line, it’s what I believe…Churches grow when PEOPLE start growing.  Some people would say, what do you mean growth?  Are we talking about people on Sunday? People in groups?  It could be, but I think those numbers are the by-product of people who care deeply about inviting their friends into their lives to share authentic Gospel community.  Does that mean inviting them to “church”?  Yes.  Does that mean inviting them to my small group?  Yes.  It means to be known and to know others. When we invite people into our lives with intentionality, they realize we want to walk through life with them.

So What does growth look like for us?  Let me give you a few words. I think this following verse sums up what we need:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 NIV

  • Family – You got it, a tight family.  That means we have each others back! That means our church is like a reality TV show and everybody is watching.  In John 13 Jesus tells us loving one another is the key to church growth.  It is a measurable leverage to achieve health. We must all ask Jesus the question, who is it in our community, in our work place, in our neighborhood who you want us to make a disciple of?  This is the definition of a missionary, “sent ones.”  It’s not just crossing a body of water, but may involve crossing the street. When was the last time your neighbors came into your life?  True biblical mission starts with a deep love for one another on display.
  • Intentionality – You have heard the phrase, “if you aim at nothing you will be sure to hit it.”  If we aren’t intentional about loving one another, growth won’t happen.  This is what our groups are all about, Love. This isn’t not a program driven approach but a people driven approach.  If you are in a group, your group becomes attractive when you love intentionally.  Here is a practical way to show it.  Adopt a single mom into your group, then help her and provide for her needs.  Watch her kids, mentor her children.  Her children are your children.  Become intentional.  Through “Live Differently” God is asking us to be intentional and take some faith filled risks.

These next days of Live Differently at 217church will be life changing!  Growth doesn’t happen overnight but you have NO IDEA how one simple act can transform someone’s life.  Every single interaction matters! Let’s love each other 250 STRONG in SMALL GROUPS!  More love = More growth!

It’s a privilege to do this together,

 

Josh

 

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Models Wanted – Momentum Day 22

Scripture:  Acts 22

Key Verse: Acts 22:22-23

“‘What shall I do, Lord?’ And the Lord said to me, ‘Rise, and go into Damascus, and there you will be told all that is appointed for you to do.’ “

I like pictures.  Tell me what you want and I will have more questions, but show me a picture and I will surely understand.  I recently sat down in the barber chair and the young new stylist looked at me and said, “what are we doing to today?”  I said, “I’m not sure, what do you think?  She proceeded to show me a glut of pictures of what I might look like if I were in a GQ magazine.  I looked at a picture of the well sculpted hair and said, “that one, but I’m going to keep my shirt on.”

In the above passage the apostle Paul was fighting for his life and at the same time contending for the Gospel of Jesus.  He was uniquely a Jew and a Roman citizen.  His whole life screamed that transformation was possible.  He paints a picture through telling his story of how he met Jesus.  The underlying krux of this whole persecution of Paul is that he is just as ordinary as everyone else, but he happens to know what he wants to look like…Jesus. Paul does what Jesus says despite being a cheat, a murderer and a liar.  On a road to Damascus he saw a clear picture of Jesus and said, “that is the picture right there.”

Here is the problem: Okay, you aren’t going to find Jesus walking the earth.  He speaks to us through the Holy Spirit, scripture, prayer and all creation. However, you will find people to help you figure out the next steps in your life who also bear the identity of Jesus.  This is where modeling comes in.

How do I find a good model?

#1 Recognize you need more than one –  It is nearly impossible to find someone who is accomplished at everything.  They just don’t exist.  You need multiple models for different situations.  People to help you who specialize in certain areas.  Our media driven paparazzi culture has turned models into idols.  if you make your model an idol, you will surely be disappointed.

#2 Define what you want help with – If someone sits down with me and doesn’t know what they want, I can’t really help them over the long haul. Know what you want help with and then write down some specific preferred outcomes you have.

#3 Look at lots of pictures – You have to watch people.  I didn’t say envy or make an icon of someone, but be a diligent observer.  If it is in the area of family that you want a model, look for someone you can model your family after.  If it is starting a business, time management, spiritual discovery, or physical health, look for lots of different types of models.  Take every step to ensure they are authentic.  In essence, “Don’t take nutritional advice from an obese man.”

#4 Realize you are a model – This is key because you won’t fully own responsibility for yourself until you realize you are responsible to others.  Almost everyone is influencing someone.  I don’t agree to help someone unless they agree they will model it intentionally for someone else.  I want to plant seeds, not hand out fruit.  There is a difference.
Question: Who do you need to model your life after? write down some people you need to learn from in different areas…

Here are four areas to start with…

1. Spiritual health

2. Family health

3. Financial health

4. Physical health

One more thing...when you know what you want to look like, something has to give, people will be ticked at you.  The people might – just – start – a – riot…

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When To Stop Arguing – Momentum Day 19

Scripture:  Acts 19

Key Verse: Acts 19:9

“But when some became stubborn…he withdrew from them“

Sometimes its just not worth it.  When you are arguing with a stubborn heart, you realize there is no use.  I didn’t say, don’t try.  Paul reasoned with the people in the Synagogue for 3 months, but there came a time when he realized he was wasting his breath.  His impact was finished.  He had won over about every person he could at that time.  It was time to move on.

Here is the problem: When it comes to conflict and arguing, most of us operate from the premise we – are – right. When we lose the ability to have honest, civil, open conversations with one another, it isn’t worth it.  People yell and scream like children, all in the name of expressing feelings. It’s not about how loud you yell, but do you listen?  People don’t know how to fight fair or agree to disagree.  comically, we then claim the other party is obstinate, intolerant and bias, unwilling to change.  Always seek to understand the other party.  Always acknowledge that you probably have hurt the other person. If you don’t, it will be obvious you are in it for yourself.

When should we move on from a conversation?  When is it wise to take a break and call it good?

#1 When people start to shout –  It is pointless to have a conversation if someone can’t remain civil.  I have seen people blame their heritage, genetics and about everything else for losing their temper.  Right…fill in ethnicity here ______________ and then blame ancestry…ridiculous. “I’m Italian! I’m Albanian! I’m English! I’m Puerto Rican!” I’m………….A person who takes no responsibility for my actions!  Take a break.

#2 When you have made a LITTLE progress – I have seen so many marriage discussions going so well, then all of the sudden the couple tries to solve every problem accumulated over the last 20 years in 1 hour.  It doesn’t work.  Accept and embellish the small victories.

#3 When there is no Mediator – Some people should not even start to talk without a mediator.  Use your wisdom.  You know when it will not go well. Be realistic.  Get someone to set ground rules for the conversation.

#4 When you fail to share the goal of the conversation at the beginning – If you go into an argument without a shared desired outcome, it is not going to end well.  Your motivations will be misunderstood and you will just end up frustrating each other.

Are you in an argument, about to be in one? Hope this helps…

Question: What is holding you back from being reasonable in your disagreements with others?

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The Marine Corps Marathon

Wow, an amazing day for running my 2nd marathon with my brother Adam.  It started around 5:15 am and it was a really easy commute to the start line. MCM did an awesome job with transportation.  The morning started with a fly over from 2 Osprey helicopters, a howitzer blast to start the wheelchair division and none other than Drew Carey firing the starting gun.  (According to my wife Summer this was the most important detail of the day.)  It was 35 degrees and I was just thankful it wasn’t 38 and driving rain like the day before!  So I shed my over clothes and we were off.  Goal time 3:15:00 (7:27 / mile)

First two miles were nice and steady rolling hills, 1- 7:36, 2- 7:35.  These first two miles were really fun and tons of spectators yelling and screaming.  The Marines handing out water and Gatorade were awesome along the course.  They were all encouraging and acted like they wanted to be there.  it was their marathon, they owned it!

The third mile felt quicker and mile four was pretty much all down hill
3- 7:15, 4- 7:10.  Then it got lonely as we ran out in the park area.  I linked up with a couple of runners who I seemed to be running the same pace that I stayed with all the way until mile 18.  Thanks Mauricio wherever you are!  Next two mile were steady and felt good 5- 7:21, 6- 7:21.  My first 10K felt effortless like it should. 45:47, great start!  Considering the first 8 miles was the hilliest part of the course, I may have taken it too fast, but didn’t feel like an issue at the time.

They next 10K felt good as well.  Lots of spectators and the scenery started to get more interesting 7- 7:33, 8- 7:14, 9- 7:21, 10- 7:22.  I swear this was the easiest 10 miles in a race I have ever run.  I was 40 seconds up on my pace and was just trying to control the adrenaline as I knew I had some time in the bank and was feeling optimistic. Next two miles to close in on the 20K mark were 11- 7:22, 12- 7:25.  My 20K had me at 1:31:40.  Couldn’t have scripted a better run to this point.

As we hit the park along the Potomac the crowds thinned out and it was just the runners sticking together pushing each other.  Had a cliff shot at mile 12 and it did it’s job.  Focused well through the next 10K: 13- 7:25, 14- 7:26, 15- 7:33,
16- 7:29, 17- 7:29,  I ran the first 17 text book, saw Summer and the kids at 17.5 and started to feel some pain in the right quad during this mile 18- 7:55.  Had to start adjusting my stride a bit and mentally it was a bit of a battle.  I pulled it back together at mile 19- 7:46 with an incredible view of the capital building.  I had given away all my cushion.  At this point I saw the 3:15:00 pace guy pass me.  I stayed with the group as long as I could, I wanted to tackle him, I was ticked he was passing me.  I knew I would need some good miles at the end to reach the goal.

But that didn’t happen.  The right quad got worse followed by the right hamstring a bit later.  Considering all that was happening mile 20- 8:10, 21- 8:14 felt respectable.  I kept thinking, “OK, I still can keep this under 3:20:00.”  But then it started to unravel as I crossed the longest bridge ever Mile 22- 9:15, 23- 9:28 made me realize I just needed to hold it together.  I just needed to keep the legs churning. Mile 24 in Crystal City was awesome scenery, but I was in serious trouble 24- 10:51.  The killer mile 25- 14:35.  I was done, had to walk during 25 as I was literally dragging the right leg along and finished with mile 26- 12:08, .2 in 2:08 up the hill to the Iwo Jima Monument.

The last half mile or so I got an adrenaline rush as I began to remember who I was running this in honor of.  My 84 year old friend Lorin who fought at and survived the devastation of Iwo, and all those Marines and military who have given their lives and fight to give us freedom. Most of all I was thinking of my Dad who cheated death in Vietnam. Many of his brothers in arms died that he served along side.  I will never forget the day I graduated from Marine Corps boot camp October 8, 1993.  I received a card from one of my Dad’s buddies who saved his life in combat.  The card was simple and it said, “Congratulations, you’re one of us now!”  AWESOME! I am thankful to have this legacy.  thanks Tony for taking care of my dad.

A bad day on the course was better than any good day on the battlefield. At the end of the race I was handed my finishers medal and I couldn’t hold it together.  I knelt for a couple minutes and just prayed to God thanking him for sparing my dad’s life Donald W. Conn Sgt USMC 1963-1967 Purple Heart, A hero, a patriot, my dad.  Proud of you dad.  All 3:36:26 was for you from one USMC Sgt to another.  And Adam, great job 4:26:25 ain’t too shabby for an old guy like you!  To my 217church family, you are always an inspiration to me in what you are doing in Hamilton!  I took every one of you with me on this run!

Looking forward to marathon #3

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Generations – Day 36 of 75 Days

This weekend was an amazing experience at 217church!  Our 217youth and 217kids are incredible and we will value them and train them in the ways of Christ.  I love watching them exceed all expectations!  They are the leaders and the church of TODAY!  Let’s encourage them and love them so they become greater than us!

Scripture Read:  Psalm 71, 72

Key Verse:  Psalm 71:17-18

“O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.”

Observation:

All else is lost to David until he proclaims God to the next generation!  David is drawing on the faithfulness of God throughout all generations highlighting the eternity of God and his limitless bounds.  For David he is intentional about making sure the next generation hears of a God who has might and power to protect be the refuge and strength of his nation.  David realizes it is his job to pass the baton and entrust his knowledge and faith to the generation that comes after him.

Application:

My children are more important to me than anything on the face of the earth.  As I prayed for them last night, I pondered their amazing value to God and the tremendous responsibility that I carry.  That responsibility is to teach them to trust in Jesus and his forgiveness of sins for their very lives.  My role is to show them value and to train them up in the ways of Jesus that they may teach their children.  We find these generational responsibilities in other places like Psalm 78:1-8 and 2 Timothy 2:2.  Paul trains Timothy and expects him to entrust the message of Jesus to faithful men who will entrust the message to other faithful men.  That is 4 generations of Christ followers we are responsible to see in just one verse!  Each one of us needs to be pouring into the next generation of Christ followers.  I can’t wait to see how God uses the young people of 217church today and tomorrow!  They are the leaders of today.  Value them and train them.

Prayer:

Lord I pray each of us would take seriously the mission and responsibility of nurturing and raising up Christ followers to the 4th generation!

By Josh 217staff team
P.S.  See you at 217kids camp on Tuesday!

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BIG Dreams need small tasks

I have been needing to disconnect lately to think about the trajectory of my life.  I pray and plan for vision in two major areas, my family and 217church.  Once I start implementing, it is so easy to get distracted and derailed from a desired outcome.  I think it is because I lose site of the dream.  The tension revolves around this idea that you have to think about the big picture while you are doing the small tasks.  If you do this, the small things go in the right direction.

What small tasks are connected to your BIG Dream?  Hopefully, lots of them.  This week I get to celebrate all the small tasks Jesus did leading to the Big Dream of the resurrection.  Palm Sunday is next…

Dream big, plan well, implement methodically

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty”  Proverbs 21:5

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Day 19: Let It Go

Title: Let it Go

Scripture Read: Proverbs 19

Key Verse:  “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”  Proverbs 19:11

Observations:

Forgiveness is to be the standard by which we live.  If Christ forgives us then we should reciprocate and forgive others.  It is this simplicity that lines up with what Jesus prayed in the Lord’s Prayer, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Mt 6:12).  I love the complexity and symmetry of scripture.  The Proverbs are preaching the timeless message of the Messiah.  I remember just four short days ago reading about the opposite of forgiveness, bitterness: “each heart knows its own bitterness and no one else shares its joy.” (Prov 14:12) When bitterness comes it robs us of the ability to forgive.  I have seen so many people be robbed of their entire life because of bitterness.  Forgiveness is one of the basic things we need to learn to do as Christ followers.  In addition, if we cannot forgive, we should not lead.  I am not sure why it is easier for some people to forgive than others, but I believe it is a conscious choice.  Forgiveness is a command not a suggestion from Jesus.  We can’t truly love someone unless we forgive them.  People will not follow us in the faith, unless we model forgiveness.

Applications:

I need to be a man in which no bitterness is present.  There is a daily cleansing that has to happen in my life from being with Jesus.  When I spend intimate time with Jesus studying his word and contemplating the cross that he was crucified on, bitterness is erased and forgiveness abounds in my own life.  It is a daily process.  I need to be forgiven.  I never want to hold bitterness against someone and carry the guilt of unfinished business.   I do not want to damage and misrepresent the message of the cross by holding a grudge against my brothers and sisters.

Parents, I am learning that one of the primary functions of my parenting is teaching my children to forgive one another.  How does this best happen?  When I ask for their forgiveness.  Forgiveness is caught more than it is taught.  Divorce, anger, abuse, pain, all can be forgiven.  How do I know this?  If Jesus can hang on a cross, scorned, humiliated, spat upon, beaten and mocked and call out to His heavenly Father, “forgive them for the do not know what they are doing,” (Lk 23:34) then I can forgive.  I am a mere man, but the Spirit that lives in me is calling out to live a life of forgiveness, LET IT GO.

Prayer:

Lord, give me the wisdom and humility to forgive people who wrong me.  Most of all, give me the strength and humility to ask for forgiveness of those who are closest to me when I wrong them.  You are such a good God and I am unworthy of your forgiveness.

Burning Questions:

In what ways are you bitter?  Who has wronged you that you need to forgive?  Have you told them those powerful words, I forgive you?  Who do you need to ask forgiveness from?  Do it today.

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Day #10: Making Dad Happy

Title: Making Dad Happy

Scripture Read: Proverbs 10

Key Verse: “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.” Proverbs 10:1

Observations:

The writer begins this section with a universally known fact, kids wants their parents to be happy with them.  Approval is so important to a child growing up and for that matter if you are honest with yourself, as you become and adult.  I know my children want me to approve of them and I want my Dad to be proud of me.  There is a motivation that is implied here.  Make dad happy, be wise.  Don’t disappoint mom, turn to the ways of wisdom. He continues his themes of hard work, leaving a legacy, measured words, and listening intently to become wise.

Applications:

An appropriate question before taking action in a critical situation for me would be, what would mom think of this?  What would dad think of this decision?  I don’t usually think of that when I am in a critical situation, but I have on occasion.  I remember being in high school and wanting my dad to be there when I ran a race.  I remember him screaming from the stands with an almost embarrassing intensity.  Why did he do this?  He supported what I was doing.  He believed in my training.  When I graduated from Marine Corps boot camp, when I completed Bible College, when I completed my seminary degree, and now every time I preach a message.  He is always there showing his approval.  As a matter of fact, I can’t recall a criticism or harsh word from my dad in over 10 years.  One thing I know, my Dad is proud of me and I desire his approval.

The same is true of Jesus in my life.  I need to look for his approval and “well done” first.  I need to examine my motivations in everything as I help plant this church.  What would make Jesus most pleased with this coming weekend at our new theater church?  Would Jesus smile if he saw our leadership team tonight.  Would Jesus be thrilled at the new church 217church is becoming?  Would he be pleased with the worship?  Would he give approval to the way I am leading our staff?  This week I will live with these questions and live for His approval.

Prayer:

Lord, as I lead this week, help me to remember who I am seeking approval from, not the world, not any man, but you, my savior

Burning Question:

Who do you seek approval most from in your life?

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Day #7: The Slaughterhouse

Title: The Slaughterhouse

Scripture Read: Proverbs 7

Key Verse: “All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose.” Proverbs 7:22

Observations:

The writer returns again with warnings of the adulteress who lurks in the neighborhood.  Wisdom is to be our sister as opposed to a woman on the corner.  She promises anonymity, pleasure and a luring away from reality to escape the present circumstances.   With Physical touch and persuasive words the woman seeks the absolute ruin of the man.  The man who lacks judgment is caught up with her.  “Easy prey”, were the first thoughts that came to my mind.  Weak minded and undisciplined are familiar references.  At the end of the evening is a death to the soul.  A total aloneness accompanies the man to the chamber of death.  When I read this today, it conjured up feelings of fear and a painted picture of something I never want to experience.

Application:

A few years ago I was driving through central California.  In Central California there is a place called Coalinga.  Everyone who has driven that particular stretch of I-5 knows that the putrid smell of cows lingers over the highway as you pass through the area. Why?  One reason: A slaughterhouse that regularly annihilates thousands upon thousands of cows.  If you have ever smelled that smell, it has the power to make you nauseous.  Every time I think of it now, I am reminded of this verse.  A man who follows a prostitute to her bed is following her to his own utter failure and undoing.  I never want to experience this, ever.  Imagery and metaphor is a powerful thing and its not always pretty, but it teaches a lesson.  Looks are deceiving.  Let me always steer clear of the adultress who seeks my ruin.

Prayer:

Lord, protect me from stupidity and lustful eyes that could ruin me.  Protect men and women from the lure of sexual indiscretion.  Make us wise so we may know how to act and what to avoid.

The Burning Question:
Are you flirting with your total demise?  If so, please call, get help, tell someone, get accountability stop the domino effect now before it is too late.  The slaughterhouse is not a pleasant place.

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Day #5: No Such Thing as a Secret

Title: “No Such Thing As A Secret”

Scripture Read: Proverbs 5

Key Verse: “ 21 For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths.” Proverbs 5:21

Observations:
A whole chapter is given here to the wisdom of keeping from prostitutes, another man’s wife, and anyone who is not your spouse.  While this was written to a male audience, this verse universally applies to women as well.  Why this much on this topic?  It seems over the hundreds and thousands of years since this was written, not much has changed.  The basic DNA of humanity has not changed.   It is a critical matter in the character of a person.  When discretion goes out the window, so goes the man, the family, the community, the society.  So many people think they can get away with adultery.  If it is secret, they think they aren’t accountable.  But all of these things are done in full view of the Lord.  It will be found out.  It is quite intimidating actually to think God is examining all my practices with great interest and detail.  He sees everything.  There is a difference that happens when the person lives with no secrets, understanding everything is subject to the full view of God.  It is clear this isn’t about legalism either.  It is about respect, common sense and the goodness of finding a wife, a faithful companion to love.

Applications:
I know people right now who are caught up in this treacherous way of life.  No one wins in the end.  The 2nd spouse leads to the 3rd and more indiscretion abounds.  Here is common sense for my life.  Run from indiscretion, even the appearance. This means I never deliberately put myself in awkward situations, I don’t do lunch alone with women.  I don’t do coffee with women.  I don’t ride in cars alone with another woman.  If I am not there, it can’t happen.  This is common sense for us as men.  If a woman makes a pass at me, I walk away.   There are no secrets.   Purity is accomplished one day at a time.  I have only this day to live the wisdom of Proverbs 5, moment by moment with integrity and honesty.  No matter what the past held, today is an opportunity for faithfulness.

Prayer:
Lord, may you keep me from those women who would seek my destruction.  Guard my eyes and mind and thank you for a wife that loves and honors me daily.

The Burning Questions:
When are you most tempted to cheat on your spouse, what do you do when that moment happens?  What do you think about  Proverbs 5:11  “At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent”?