Category Archives: Leadership

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Day 18: Humility Comes Before Honor

Title: Humility Comes Before Honor

Scripture Read: Proverbs 18

Key Verse:  “Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.”  Proverbs 18:12

Observations:

When a man displays humility it is plain to see.  I love being around people who want nothing in return, no accolades or credit, no recognition or expectation.  We are wired as people to naturally expect something in return.  There is a strict warning for when we feel our heart tending towards pride.  When this happens, words and credit may come, but truly the honor becomes lost.  No one likes to be around people who know it all or think they are better than everyone.  People who rule according to their needs and fail to look out for those they serve are on the edge of a downfall.  Humility is a beautiful thing and yet, I don’t want the title humility.  Once I claim that title I become proud.

Applications:

When I think of Martin Luther King Jr. I think of humility.  He devoted his whole life and being to equal rights and the ending of racial oppression in our country.  He won the Nobel peace prize at the age of 35. Amazing.  People who stand for peace are usually humble people.  They want the betterment of others and the advancement of an ideal of treating others like humans.  This should not be so difficult but we know how difficult it can be for us.  Was martin Luther King Jr. perfect, not at all, but we look back at his life and look at his moments of reconciliation and peace as the most humble moments of his life.  His well known I have a dream speech carries so much humility with it that it motivates me to jump on board with his vision.  Humble people are those who promote peace and are attractive.  It is why the message of Jesus is so powerful, so much humility.  I want to stand for humility and be a broker of peace.  This is one of my most important roles as a Christ follower.

Prayer:

Lord, show me my pride and eliminate it

Burning Questions:

In what ways are you prideful?  What do you think you should do in order to cultivate humility in your life?

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Day #4: A Father’s Words

Title: “A Father’s Words”

Scripture Read: Proverbs 4

Key Verse: “When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender and only a child of my mother, he taught me and said,  “Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.”   Proverbs 4:4

Observations:
Solomon gives us a clear and powerful metaphor and picture so we experience the weight of what he is saying.  The recollection of when his father taught him something.  He is young, innocent and impressionable.  Because of the imagery, it changes the communication.  The respect and anticipation exchanged between a father and son is capturing.  I can see Solomon staring into the eyes of his father, hanging on every word, loving the fact that he took the time to tell him his heart.  He shares meaningful words, every one he is hanging on.  Every word is life-giving and means something to the son.  The hope the son has to one day be like dad causes him to listen.  There is nothing more powerful than an exchange between a parent and a child.  So much possibility for love and understanding of what God thinks of us, what he wants for us.  Solomon says to us today, don’t ignore what your Father says…come back to me, be careful, see the possibility of what could be in your life if you had wisdom.

Applications:
Until I had children, I did not understand certain aspects of God’s love for me.  So many times as men, we are deficient in communicating, communicating the most important things.  I remember being a young boy and I would climb up on my Dad, he would tell me how much he believed in me.  How much he loved me, wanted the best in me.  Sometimes he would tell me just by looking at me.  If I could go back, I would rewind and become a little boy again.  I would appreciate the simplicity of the moment in hearing from my dad as a child.  This is what God is doing with us.  I fully realize my need for a dad and a Father in heaven to look over me.  I need God to listen to and heed instruction from.  I fully realize some who may be reading this did not have a healthy interaction with your father.  You should know that Jesus is there for you to interact with.  He asks you to climb up on his lap and listen.  That is what these 31 days are all about.  You have a father.  He loves you.  His name is Jesus.  Tonight, I am going to go home to my kids and sit them on my lap so my son and daughter have something to write about, a story to tell.  A father who loved him and wanted for them to be poured out for the name of Jesus.

Prayer:
Lord, my prayer is simple today, may my children’s wisdom exceed mine by 100 fold.  May you keep them and may they be revered in your kingdom as wise and faithful followers of Jesus.

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Titans, Part 4: Stop Working Now

Titans #4 Stop Working Now!

Here is something I am very passionate about, rest. Let’s be honest, when it comes down to it, the thing that probably gets the least amount of attention in your life is Sabbath. This is an ancient yet powerful idea. The first thing man experienced on day 7, (the day after he was created) was rest. (Gen. 2:2) Day seven was all about rest. Question, did God really need to rest? Was he tired? Worn out? Sleepy? Stressed? At the end of his rope? I am guessing no. The bible says he never sleeps or slumbers. (Ps. 121:4) This is not a contradiction. The reason I believe God rested on the seventh day was to be with his new most prized possession, humankind. God had to set the example for Adam that he needed to rest. Later we see God giving a commandment of clarity to the Israelites to remember the Sabbath Day and keep it Holy. (Ex 20:8) There is a common sense about this one.

You need time to withdraw from the stresses of a normal work week. Seven days a week of work will destroy your body, your family and your quality of life. You were not meant to work seven days a week. Let me suggest to you four ideas that I believe should govern the idea of sabbath in your life.

#1 Divert Daily – you have to take every day and get away for a time. Don’t tell me you don’t have time. Whenever it works for you, morning, lunch, evening, doesn’t matter, you need time in the Word, prayer, time to write, etc EVERY DAY

#2 Withdraw Weekly – There is a natural rhythm to this. A week has a feel. It’s only one day. How would your relationships with your spouse, kids, family, boss be different if you could say no to your work for one day a week? Would they respect you more as a provider if you provided for them a little less and gave them more time to communicate love and care. Would you be more productive at work if you could get away?

#3 Abandon Annually – Every year, take a vacation. We love our vacations, but take a reasonable one. Not one that financially straps you to have to kill your self working to get out of debt from it. Or one that will prevent you from being generous later in the year when God tells you to give. Not one that will give you pictures from far off exotic places that you are still paying off as you are reading this. Why take a vacation that will own you for the next year? Getaway and keep it sensible. On a side note, regarding that vacation home you are looking at buying, stop comparing yourself to other people who have vacation homes they can’t afford and are now strapped because they lost their job, can’t sell them in this economy and make excuses for poor decision making. If we had as much faith in God as we did in the economic model of owning a vacation home we would have far more faith and take far more risk with it. Learn from others mistakes, bad decisions happen.  Don’t get trapped.

#4 Sabbatical – I know this sounds extreme, but what if you saved enough so you could take three to six months off every seven to ten years? Would it be possible for you? Whatever stage you are in life, whatever time frame you set, you need extended time to getaway and plan. You need to rest, be proactive about your skill development and evaluate what is important to you. Sabbatical does not mean you are being lazy waking up at noon and watching all the re-runs of sports center back to back to back. Sabbatical means a time of refocusing your skills and energy. Designing your days and preparing for when you re enter the workforce. It is a time to spiritually cultivate and rediscover disciplines of prayer and fasting. Maybe it will be a career change or a calling to go on a mission trip for 6 months. I’m not dogmatic about every seven years or the six month time frame, but you need to take one. I took a 3 month sabbatical after 10 years of working hard and I plan to take another one during my midlife crisis :).

Here is what I know: Life is too short to live stressed out with regrets of what could have been.  Learn from yesterday, focus today and do not be anxious about tomorrow. Now stop working and enjoy your Christmas

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Titans, Part 3: Get Old, Get Rich, Retire

I was doing my year end review of my “retirement” accounts this week. This is the time of year when I take inventory of what I have and then, like a good steward, I reposition certain assets and plan how much I will save in the next year. I know many of you men, you do the same thing. You are taking inventory and stock of everything you have and thanking God for what he has given you in the past year. Not a bad habit to get into. But there is something eerily empty about these words: Get old, get rich, retire. Let me absolutely ruin your day with this statement. “Jesus could care less about how much money you have in your retirement account.”  Everything in the way Jesus lived screamed out, “this is not my real home.” What if we lived spending ourselves and all our loaned resources for the advancement of the Gospel?  Money does not define a man.  Here are a few of myths we as men have bought into:

Myth #1 You should retire…and as early as possible – This is a lie, don’t believe it. It is not found in the Gospel. I have no problem with growing old being able to take care of yourself and your wife, but Jesus never said make all the money you can so you can have a life of leisure and no responsibilities. I hear so many people say, “we deserve it.” No, we deserve nothing. Humanity doesn’t “deserve anything” but death and separation from God. Americans have a distorted sense of entitlement. Jesus gives us privilege to be forgiven and live like him. If I just offended you read Luke 12:13-21 and let Jesus convince you. Personally, I don’t plan to “retire”. Retirement is for people who have lost their purpose and are ready to die. I never plan to live the “good life”. I can’t see Paul as he is writing Timothy at the end of his life, “once you have fought the good fight and stored up enough money to buy your second vacation home, golf and vacation for the rest of your life…in short, take it easy Timothy.” Physical limitation will be the reason I “retire”.

Truth: You should give away as much as possible

Myth #2 You should pay for 100% of your kids’ college education – College education is a luxury for those who work hard and value it. Many parents give their kids college education as a way to feel better about themselves. Many parents assume debt for it. Parents, you can’t give it if you don’t have it. If you make the decision to take on enormous amounts of debt for your kids’ college education, you are enabling them to abuse your finances. Borrowing to give is the farthest thing from biblical stewardship you could do. Paid for college education is the culmination of a user mentality that we have created for the next generation. You are stunting their growth and teaching them to use the system. I’m not saying don’t pay anything, but assume no debt and if they can’t deal with that, you owe them nothing.

Truth: Empower your children to figure out how to pay for it themselves.

Myth #3 Die with a huge inheritance left for your children – There is nothing in scripture that mandates you leaving a huge inheritance for your family.  I can make more of an argument from scripture that you should die with very little resources, giving everything you have away to those who need it, not heaping excess upon our children so they will squander it.  I have seen more families split from greed when their parents die.  I know some of you are going to quote Proverbs 13:22, “A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children…” But please balance this verse with the fact that the disciples were told to take nothing with them when they followed Jesus. They were not guaranteed earthly financial prosperity as they followed Jesus. Many parables speak directly against the greed present in one’s life as you become more rich. More likely than not, the disciples who followed Jesus were not rich men and had limited or no inheritance to leave.

Truth: Focus more on the spiritual inheritance you will leave to your children rather than the financial inheritance.

Live purposefully, give generously, and never rest until your whole life is spent advancing the cause of Jesus.

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Titans, Part 2: The Tug Of War

Does anybody else feel the tug of war? The one between family and work. How do I prioritize? Does a man or woman who has a family have a disadvantage in the workplace against the new single, agile worker? Try this quote on: “When it comes down to it, the single most important activity in your whole day is prioritization.” This one has saved my bacon countless times with the wife and the boss. Without prioritization you lose focus and end up somewhere you never intended, often times in a knock down drag out with the boss or worse the spouse. I have compiled a short, simple prioritization process below that has helped me sift through the tug of war. I hope something here helps you.

#1 Know what is important to you – This is about values. Are you willing to sacrifice irreplaceable time with loved ones for a newer car, a vacation home, a bigger house? If you are single, dating, or planning to be married, you better be talking about this with your future spouse. Please do this, or your marriage will suffer.

#2 Have a tool that works for you – (i.e. calendar, tasks etc) This is about choices. Are you willing to be disciplined? I have coached many men who don’t schedule their life. inevitably, this is the road to disaster, Here is a saying for you…”be sure your schedule will find you out.”

#3 Use the tool like a bad smoking addiction – This is about repetition. Prioritization is a daily, weekly, continual activity. Especially if you are just starting out, you will have to build disciplines into your life. You need to schedule time to schedule yourself.

#4 Over communicate with everyone – This is about consideration. Are you willing to let your spouse trump your calendar? With your family it is NOT better to ask forgiveness rather than permission, it is foolish. If I can give my boss 24 hour notice to missing a meeting it helps build credibility. I am also finding it helps if my wife uses the same or similar tool as I do.

When all is said and done, You can always get another job, but you were created to have one spouse. Agree or disagree?

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Titans, Part 1

I am sitting next to two guys, it is obviously an interview.  One man touting his resume trying to convince this corporate exec he is the one who will take this sales team to the next level.  Two men who obviously woke up early in the morning, put on their best clothes and are here to take over.   By listening to one, I would have thought he already owned the company.  There is an endless comparison of who sold more, how much, when, what great obstacles they overcame.   I can see them as two prehistoric men comparing their kills from their latest woolly mammoth hunting excursion, (Or maybe for my Oregon friends, your last trek into the wilderness to kill a deer.)

Men, we are an interesting breed.  We get passionate about conquering, capturing, and controlling things.  Let’s face it we are obsessed as a species with power, possessions and pride.  But here is the what if…What if there were a group of men that were equally or more passionate about living the ways of Jesus as they were with their business ventures?  So many of us ride off on the train to the big city in pursuit of Titan-hood and leave our families at home to suffer. I know a lot of business men.  I respect business men.  These men pour their lives into providing for their families, this is a good thing.  Is it possible to pursue both though?  What will it take for us men to stop pursuing vacation homes, season football tickets and a bigger house in the nicest neighborhood?  I will be exploring this with you over the next 5 blogs.  What do you think?