Scripture: Acts 19
Key Verse: Acts 19:9
“But when some became stubborn…he withdrew from them“
Sometimes its just not worth it. When you are arguing with a stubborn heart, you realize there is no use. I didn’t say, don’t try. Paul reasoned with the people in the Synagogue for 3 months, but there came a time when he realized he was wasting his breath. His impact was finished. He had won over about every person he could at that time. It was time to move on.
Here is the problem: When it comes to conflict and arguing, most of us operate from the premise we – are – right. When we lose the ability to have honest, civil, open conversations with one another, it isn’t worth it. People yell and scream like children, all in the name of expressing feelings. It’s not about how loud you yell, but do you listen? People don’t know how to fight fair or agree to disagree. comically, we then claim the other party is obstinate, intolerant and bias, unwilling to change. Always seek to understand the other party. Always acknowledge that you probably have hurt the other person. If you don’t, it will be obvious you are in it for yourself.
When should we move on from a conversation? When is it wise to take a break and call it good?
#1 When people start to shout – It is pointless to have a conversation if someone can’t remain civil. I have seen people blame their heritage, genetics and about everything else for losing their temper. Right…fill in ethnicity here ______________ and then blame ancestry…ridiculous. “I’m Italian! I’m Albanian! I’m English! I’m Puerto Rican!” I’m………….A person who takes no responsibility for my actions! Take a break.
#2 When you have made a LITTLE progress – I have seen so many marriage discussions going so well, then all of the sudden the couple tries to solve every problem accumulated over the last 20 years in 1 hour. It doesn’t work. Accept and embellish the small victories.
#3 When there is no Mediator – Some people should not even start to talk without a mediator. Use your wisdom. You know when it will not go well. Be realistic. Get someone to set ground rules for the conversation.
#4 When you fail to share the goal of the conversation at the beginning – If you go into an argument without a shared desired outcome, it is not going to end well. Your motivations will be misunderstood and you will just end up frustrating each other.
Are you in an argument, about to be in one? Hope this helps…
Question: What is holding you back from being reasonable in your disagreements with others?