Unwrap This… Forgiveness

It’s that time of year again, time to think about what you would like to give to those in your life who you care about the most.  Gift giving is an exciting time of sensing the value that will all have as family and friends.  This year in our family we created a wish list for those who want to get something specific for any of our kids.  But the thrill of a new gift fades away quickly and toys under the tree last year quickly become boring, outdated and even neglected.  But there is one gift you can for sure give that will endure and never get old, and when you give it there are so many additional benefits.
“…if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”  Colossians 3:13
Forgiving each other isn’t easy, as a matter of fact there are times when I don’t want to forgive, but in the end I am always thankful when I choose to forgive and ask forgiveness.  Jesus forgives you so you will forgive others?


5 Benefits of Forgiveness…


1. Spiritual Clarity – Show me someone who claims to be close to Jesus, and by asking one simple question I can tell if it is true or not.  Here is that question:  “Is there anyone you need to forgive?”  If the answer is “yes” there is a spiritual block.  We see over and over in the New Testament Jesus telling the disciples of his grace.  When asked how many times one should forgive, Jesus blew the disciples minds and answered, seventy times seven.  (Matthew 18:22) This basically means you can’t stop forgiving.  Once you stop forgiving, stick a fork in your spiritual growth.  If you are willing to forgive, God will immediately excel your growth.  If you want to be on the fast track of God’s plan for your life, learn to forgive.

2. Deeper Intimacy – Whenever conflict comes, intimacy comes when we forgive.  I’m NOT suggesting you let someone abuse you, but I am reminding you that if you are unwilling to forgive anyone including your spouse, your closeness will always suffer.  If you find yourself becoming jaded towards someone, it’s time forgive and draw close to them again.  With family and friends people want to love and be loved.  Especially with marriage people don’t get married to be hurt, but two sinners in a relationship will always hurt each other.  Forgiveness is not an option, but a mandate from scripture.

3. Eliminate Bitterness – Where there is authentic forgiveness, bitterness cannot take root.  I have counseled countless couples that just can’t forgive.  No matter what the offense, it seems the more you choose to withhold forgiveness, the deeper the bitterness penetrates.  Since we are holistic beings, a failure to learn to forgive will affect EVERY area of your life.  Not forgiving your spouse will affect your work, your leisure and worst of all your children.  Kids are perceptive and much smarter than you think.  Even my ten-year-old daughter can perceive when mommy and daddy are not being nice to each other, even when we think we are hiding it.

4. A Worthy Example – Have you ever considered how many people are watching you?  I’m not trying to stress you out or build the pressure, but if you claim to follow Jesus, your friends are watching to see if there is any substance to your faith.  If your religion is a punch line and a Sunday experience, you are harming the testimony of Jesus.  If there is no difference between you and your co-workers, you need to take a step back.  One of the most harmful things you can do at work is complain constantly.  Once you unleash the tongue to tear down people to others, they immediately will see through your phony facade of religion and reject your faith.  When you forgive, people around you benefit exponentially.

5. A Clear Conscience – Simply put, there is not much more satisfying than a clear conscience.   To know even though you did something wrong you asked forgiveness, that is pure peace.  To know despite the hurt inflicted upon you, you forgave, IS PRICELESS!  When you forgive others it allows you to move forward with passion and integrity.  This means you have to STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!  When someone says to you, “I forgave”, then they can’t stop talking about it, they didn’t forgive.  They are medicating with gossip.  If someone isn’t part of the problem or solution, leave them out of it.  Forgiving makes you a person of integrity and will kill your pride.


Josh Conn is a 20 year ministry veteran, father of six, founding executive coach at activate coaching and the founding pastor of 217church, a contemporary church in Mercer County NJ.  217church meets Sundays at 9:30am & 11:00am at Sharon Elementary school in Robbinsville, NJ.  Visit www.217church.com for more information, or watch a weekend message here.

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2 thoughts on “Unwrap This… Forgiveness

  1. Talk about hitting home. Last year my 13 yr old son wanted a 3ds. He has no gaming system. I have an unemployed husband. My 16 yr old daughter wanted her brother to have it so much she said do not get me anything for Christmas. Spend it on his game. Well some one heard my sister talking about it at her bible study. She asked for my daughter’s list. I gave it to my sister. The women came back and said I have never seen such a small list for a teen ager. She and her daughter went out and bought her more art supplies and much more expensive better quality art supplies than we would have gotten her in three years worth of Christmas gifts. My daughter opened up the presents and looked at me and whispered how did you play ther lottery. I told her God rewarded you for your kindness and generosity, no we did not hit the lottery.

  2. That is so awesome, It just shows that our heavenly father sees & hears all and that he is always working.
    God Bless You & Your Family.