Category Archives: 2013

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Make Easter 2013 Count at 217church

Easter is the DAY that CHANGED HISTORY!  Sins forgiven and the world redeemed.  No doubt many of you have seen the new series The Bible on the History channel.  It comes at a perfect time as the church’s resolve is renewed to be on mission for Jesus as each of us are commissioned agents of change in the world today!  The enemy would seek to distract us with the commercialization of Easter, but you can MAKE EASTER COUNT this year!  Here are 4 ways to make Easter count. 


“…And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb,”  Luke 24:2

4 Ways To Make Easter Count

1. Worship With a Local Church – How could you let Easter pass and not worship with a local fellowship of believers? On Easter Sunday, 217church will be celebrating what it means to follow Jesus with everything! Following Jesus is the most dangerous thing you will ever do.  It isn’t easy.  Take A Risk and follow Jesus!

2. Make A New Covenant – A covenant is a promise.  What will you covenant with God to do?  At 217church we have a simple covenant that we make with each other to be the church God wants us to be. We can only impact the community he has called us to reach if we have some simple agreements.  Our covenant has 4 simple ideas: 

  • Our Word:  RESTORE Protect the unity of the church – Have you accepted forgiveness and do you readily forgive others?  (Matthew 18)
  • Our Word:  RENEW  Share the responsibility of the church – Are you active sharing your faith doing the mission with a small group of believers? (Acts 2:42-47)
  • Our Word:  REBUILD  Serve the ministry of the church – Do you care for others inside the church by taking care of each other’s basic needs? (Eph 4:11-12)
  • The BIG IDEA:  Give generously in EVERY way – Does your stewardship of time, talent and treasure resemble Jesus?  (1 Corinthians 16:2)

3. Go and Invite Someone! – Wouldn’t it be amazing someday if you entered into heaven and bumped into one of your friends and they personally thanked you for bringing them on the Easter where they found a relationship with Jesus?  Trust me, they will hear a clear presentation of the Gospel of Jesus in a contemporary way at 217church.  Mercer County is full of churches like us.  Bring them to the gathering of believers to hear the Gospel and you never know what will happen.  Plan your guest list to church BEFORE you plan your Easter brunch.

4. Slow Down and Just Receive – There’s no need to stress out this Easter.  Jesus did for you what you could not do.  Isn’t it time to let go of the guilt and pain?  Make Easter a time of restoration.  Jesus didn’t die so you would be burned out, stressed out and worn out.  The resurrection is so you may have peace and rest!  Make Easter 2013 Count.


Are you willing to TAKE A RISK?  It’s time.

217church Easter Schedule 2013

  • Palm Sunday Celebration- March 24th 9:30 & 11am @ AMC24 in Hamilton, NJ (We will be having a Marriage Vow Renewal Service celebrating God’s covenant with us)
  • Good Friday Open Prayer Time- March 29th  6 PM – 9 PM @ 217church Youth Center 200 Whitehead Rd, Hamilton, NJ
  • Easter Celebration Services- March 31st 9:30 & 11am @ AMC24 in Hamilton, NJ
  • Special Kids Party- March 31st in Theater 20 @ 9:30 & 11am
P.S.- Know someone looking to attend a contemporary church in Mercer County, NJ  for Easter?  Take a risk and tweet, Facebook or email this blog post!  There will be a HUGE party with Easter Egg hunt for the kids and a great time of worship with other individuals and families in the surrounding Mercer County and Bucks County areas (Hamilton, Lawrenceville, Trenton, East Windsor, West Windsor, Princeton, Robbinsville, Mercerville, Yardville, Yardley, Newtown, Langhorne and more!). Join us!
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Hamilton Township Mayor Sentenced to 38 Months…And How To Avoid ‘Stupid Moments’ As a Leader

Today was a sad day for me.  As a Pastor in the township of Hamilton, NJ I am deeply grieved by what just occurred in the Fisher Federal Courthouse in Trenton.  After the former Mayor John Bencivengo solicited $12,400 in bribes from a school district insurance broker, he was convicted of corruption and was sentenced today to 38 months in a federal prison.  Essentially, the leader of our community threw everything away.  I had the privilege to sit next to the former Mayor at several Hamilton Township events and I remember meeting him when we started 217church in 2010.  Mr. Bencivengo was cordial and I gave him the respect his office deserved. I don’t know Mr. Bencivengo personally and I’m not sure what went wrong, or when exactly he made a decision to steal money, but I do know this: Today was probably one of the saddest days of his 90 year old mother’s life, Rose Mary Bencivengo.

Former Hamilton Mayor John Bencivengo

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?  “I the Lord search the heart and test the mind,to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Jeremiah 17:9-10

 Let’s all be honest, we have all made mistakes, maybe we haven’t extorted $12,400, but we all have all done things we are not proud of.  These choices have consequences and everyone has been tempted to do something extremely irresponsible and morally questionable.  No one is above the temptation.  Whether it was last week, last month, or last year, we all fall short of perfection.  But when a leader falls off the “leadership bus” and has a “stupid moment,” it should make us all pause and take inventory of our offices, influence, our calling and our deep connection to others in the community we live in.  Hopefully we can avoid having these major “stupid moments” like the mayor, but here are 4 things to consider before having a “stupid moment.”

Definition of a Stupid Moment:  A moment in time when you think you can get away with something that you know in your heart is not only wrong, but compromises your reputation, family and your legacy.

4 Things To Do Before Having The “Stupid Moment”

1. Set Up Safeguards – The best way to not have a stupid moment is to NOT put yourself in compromising situations.  There are three primary areas you need to safeguard yourself in,  what I like to call the three P’s of integrity.  These have the power to end your career, public service or ministry and damage your integrity: PRIDE, POSSESSIONS, and PLEASURE.  Our desire for more power, more stuff and our inability to stay morally pure will destroy us.  YOU MUST set up safeguards to protect yourself against even the appearance of impropriety.  For every person and leader the safeguards are different, but my practical safeguards include avoiding morally questionable situations with the opposite sex.  This may seem extreme, but I won’t go out for coffee with any woman alone in ANY circumstance.  It just isn’t worth the risk to me.  In addition, as a pastor, I don’t handle ANY money from the church.  I am not a signer on any bank accounts and if you hand me money, I will hand it back to you.  I also serve alongside a board and staff that has the ability to question decisions of mine all the time.  You have to empower people to disagree with you in order to be a good leader.

Question:  What safeguards do you need to set up, RIGHT NOW?

2.  Consider Your Own Vision – If you don’t have a compelling life vision, you are more likely to wing it in your character.  One of the things that has kept me from taking moral shortcuts is keeping my goals and calling in front of me.  Whenever there is an opportunity to cheat, (and there will be opportunities), I ask myself this question.  Will I be able to sleep tonight with a clear conscience if I do this?  If the answer is no, well, I need to move on quickly.  Trust is developed over a lifetime and then disappears in a day.  The longer you entertain the thoughts of compromise, the more likely you are to have a “stupid moment.”  If you know who you are, what you are about and what you are trying to accomplish in life, you are less likely to fall on your face in your character.  Your vision has to be so compelling that others never question what you are about.

Question:  How does your vision need to be refined to be made compelling?

3.  Be Very Afraid, Fear and Honor Your ‘Office’ Above Yourself – There is nothing wrong with a fear and reverence for a position.  As a matter of fact, many leaders in our country have lost their sense of honor for the offices they hold.  How can you tell if you don’t honor the role? One word, ENTITLEMENT.  As we develop leaders for roles and positions in our church to benefit the community, I sniff out the evil of entitlement and squash it as fast as I can.  If you work with me and you become entitled, you may find yourself out of a job.  If you are entitled you will be lazy and lazy people make terrible public servants, entrepreneurs, police officers etc.

Question:  What do you think your job ‘owes’ you?

4. Think of Your Mom – And wife, and children, and co-workers, and constituents and the list just goes on and on.  I said at the beginning of this post, the day of sentencing was probably most difficult for Bencivengo’s mother. How do I know this?  Consider Jesus at the cross:  We know from what the bible says that His mother was at the foot of the cross weeping while they crucified Jesus.  Your actions don’t just have consequences for you, but all of your family, friends and every person you serve.  You will either redeem or reduce people’s opinion of your role and the organization you  serve by how you serve faithfully.

Question:  Is there any behavior you are participating in that is moral grey area?

I hope we can all show grace to former Mayor Bencivengo and his family.  Our job is to now heal and move on.  Hopefully the integrity and belief in our municipal, civic and corporate leaders in our township will be restored quickly.  I am saddened in my heart for what we have endured as a community, but I forgive and move on. Will you choose to forgive?  Our community will be better off if we don’t hold grudges.  If you are honest with the questions above, I am confident our township will once again be restored to honor and we will once again trust our public officials.

 

Pastor Josh Conn is the Pastor of 217church in Hamilton Township, NJ.  217church holds services at the AMC24 theaters in Hamilton every Sunday at 9:30 and 11:00am and is a church dedicated to serving the needs of Hamilton and surrounding mercer county communities.

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Why Easter Changes Everything

On my wall growing up was a small plaque with this bible verse:  “Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous, do not be frightened.” Joshua 1:9.  Little did I know how much I would need that verse throughout my life in my walk with Jesus.  As the spring arrives and the last bit of snow melts away, you have an opportunity like no other in your life this Easter:  This is your opportunity to let Easter 2013 be the day that changes everything!  In order to do that, you have to be willing to Take A Risk and ask some incredibly difficult questions…


“…Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened”  Joshua 1:9

Although Jesus isn’t dead, before we know it, we can start living like the resurrection never happened!  It is easy for us to be misguided in our focus and start worrying, complaining, and thinking always about our current problems.  But when we fully embrace the Easter story, we cannot stay the same.

5 Reasons Easter Change Everything 

1. Following Jesus Gives Hope – As I look at people’s eyes in the local coffee shop, some are empty as can be.  People are pursuing all sorts of different goals and ambitions that at the end of the day leave them wanting more.  Something twisted happens when you finally arrive at what you think you want.  You become EMPTY.  But the alternative to pursuing worldly wealth, power and pride is pursuing Jesus.  When you follow Jesus you live differently and He gives you a new plan, a new identity, and a hopeful future.  In John 14 Jesus says, “I am going to prepare a place for you.”  This is no doubt a reference to heaven and what comes after we die for those who confess Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  When you come into a relationship with Jesus, you don’t just get heaven, but as it says in John 10:10, you also get a new life and a Fresh Start! Take A Risk and follow Jesus!

Question:  Are you willing to follow Jesus?  March 31 Sermon Topic at 217church 9:30 & 11 am

2. Jesus Has Your Best Interest In Mind – Hearing what Jesus says is one thing, but actually doing what He wants us to do in obedience is another!  What we fail to realize is we think we know what is best, but what we don’t have is perspective.  We often make decisions based on what we think is best for the moment and not what is best for the long haul.  We often forget that Jesus knows our tomorrow and we need to give him our today.  What is God telling you to do?  Sell something? Move somewhere?  Go to college? Serve someone?  Whatever it is, the sooner you do it, the sooner you become unstuck and can move into the next growth season of your life.  Take A Risk and obey God.  Never forget Jesus has a plan for you.  Jeremiah 29:11

Question:  Are you willing to do what God tells you?  April 7 Sermon Topic

3. Your Possibilities are ENDLESS! – Sometimes we don’t receive from God because we don’t ask and sometimes we don’t receive because we ask from the wrong heart with the wrong motives.  The more you develop your relationship with God through prayer, the more you are able to get in sync with what He wants for your life.  This is something that takes a lifetime to master and there is no quick fix.  It all starts with the foundational belief that says, “I believe Jesus has amazing plan with purpose for my life.”  If you have lost faith and don’t have this belief, you have to pray and get it back.  The good news is that God is a God of second, third and fourth chances.  He is faithful and is waiting for you to activate your faith.  Ask Him for His heart in every matter and Matthew 21:22 says, “If you believe you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” This verse has limitless possibilities for you. It’s time to Take A Risk and Ask for BIG things from God

Question:  Are you willing to ask for ANYTHING?  April 14 Sermon Topic

4. Go Ahead, Let Go Of Your Dreams – There comes a time when we must let go of what we want and start embracing what God has for us.  When your dream dies it is the most exciting day of your life.  It isn’t a time of mourning, but a time of great celebration.  Most of the time, the death of a personal dream involves a change in the way you view your MONEY!  In order to grasp God’s dream for your life, you must change the way you view money.  It isn’t your money, but it’s HIS money! For some of us, the biggest risk we can take is to give without restraint.  Most of us trust in things.  Don’t deny it, I’m human, your human, we all have “material issues.”  This simply means at some level we all have selfish problems in the way we handle money.  There is a deep connection between money and following Jesus and it’s time to Take A Risk and trust Jesus.

Question:  Are you willing to Give without restraint?  April 21 Sermon Topic

 5. We Can Let Go Of Bitterness – Some of us discover very early in life that life is FULL of pain.  It is not a matter of if we will get hurt but when we will get hurt.  Once we are hurt if we aren’t careful, bitterness can take root and start to destroy our soul.  It eats away at our emotions and causes insecurities to form.  There is a saying that I use, “hurt people…hurt people.”  So the key to this is realize the resurrection power lives in you.  This means you have the power to forgive.  It doesn’t mean you even need to want to, but by His strength, you are going to forgive. We are to be agents of forgiveness, always willing to turn the other cheek.  This only happens when we get our heart right with God.  Are you willing to Take A Risk and forgive?

Question:  Are you willing to Forgive without reservation?  April 28 Sermon Topic

Are you willing to TAKE A RISK?  It’s time.

217church Easter Schedule 2013

  • Good Friday Open Prayer Time- March 29th  6 PM – 9 PM @ 217church Youth Center 200 Whitehead Rd, Hamilton, NJ
  • Weekend Celebration Services- March 31st 9:30 & 11am @ AMC24 in Hamilton, NJ
  • Special Kids Party- March 31st in Theater 20 @ 9:30 & 11am

Easter Series Topics:

March 31 – Follow Jesus

April 7 – Do What God Says

April 14 – Ask For Anything

April 21 – Give Big

April 28 – Forgive

Mercer County Church Blog Home

This Easter, we are announcing our biggest RISK ever!  And you can to be a part of it!
P.S.- Know someone looking to attend a contemporary church in Mercer County, NJ  for Easter?  Take a risk and tweet, Facebook or email this blog post!  There will be a HUGE party and Easter Egg hunt for the kids and a great time of worship with other individuals and families in the surrounding Mercer County and Bucks County areas (Hamilton, Lawrenceville, East Windsor, West Windsor, Princeton, Robbinsville, Mercerville, Yardville, Yardley, Newtown, Langhorne and more!). Join us!
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Fighting Fair in Marriage – Part 2

If you are going to fight for your marriage, you have to learn to fight fair in marriage.  This is not an easy thing and takes years to master.  Married couples fight about money, sex, division of labor, communication and many other things.  But fighting fair is one of the keys to a lasting marriage.  Last week if you missed PART 1 of FIGHTING FAIR IN MARRIAGE, you can read it here.

“…The tongue of the wise brings healing.”  Proverbs 12:18

10 Ways To Fight Fair In Your Marriage – Part 2

6. Avoid Personal Attacks – Especially as you are younger in your marriage, you won’t know each other as well.  When you discover something about him that is, well, annoying, you have to determine not to attack his character.  One of the most hurtful things you can do is “label your spouse.”  Many of the labels our parents, teachers and friends gave us as children stick with us our whole lives.  These words and labels can control and damage our relationships. Your words should NEVER be a personal attack.  Instead, use phrases like, “Help me understand why…” and “When you do this, it’s hard for me…” Once you make it personal, there is no cool-headed conversation. An ounce of encouragement can go a long way.  Once you find yourself in a personal attack, back off and take a time-out.

7. Be Truthful, Then Trust – This sounds almost ridiculous but it is important to operate with correct information.  I have seen so many couples fight over jumping to assumptions that aren’t even true!  If you have a truth problem, your marriage can never grow in intimacy.  Among us there are those who have been jaded and betrayed, therefore it is harder for us to trust.  The foundation of marriage is built on trust.  I’m not saying being naive, but if your marriage is going to grow, you must learn to trust more.

8. Learn to Listen – I know, I know, this is comical right?  You expect me to listen when I am frustrated?  One thing that will grow your ability to disagree with civility is your ability to listen.  If you are always interrupting and always building your “case” while the other person is talking, you are acting like an emotional child.  When you listen it is important for your spouse to know you heard him or her.  PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING.  This is an exercise where one person talks at a time,  then the other person repeats back to make sure the message got delivered.  “What I heard you say was…”  If this is done, you both know you are communicating effectively.  It is important though that ONE PERSON TALKS at a time!  You can’t listen with your mouth flapping.  Then you switch roles and the other person listens and repeats back.

9. Don’t Win, Heal – You learn quickly in marriage “when you win, you lose.” You should not be about being right and being in control, but perfect love drives out fear.  Often times, people are afraid of losing, ANYTHING.  This includes arguments.  Look your spouse in the eye this week and say, I will never win another argument.  It might seem a bit extreme, but when the motives are wrong in fighting, there is NEVER a resolution, just a temporary break from the fight.  I have counseled more couples where it was evident two people wanted to win the argument.  Then when asked they had the audacity to accuse the other person of just wanting to win the argument.  If you happen to be married to someone who likes to fight, and enjoys confrontation, you will probably need to see a counselor ASAP!  

10. Pray Together Regularly – Want to fight less?  Then pray for and with one another.  Two people who pray together will find it harder to fight about stupid little things.  You learn to “let things go” and not be bitter and eventually grow in your spiritual intimacy with your spouse.  If you have never tried this, START!  You will be amazed at the level of intimacy that grows as Jesus becomes more the center of your marriage.

One last thought:  If you feel like you have tried everything to solve a problem, YOU MUST GET HELP from an outside source.  Maybe the most courageous thing you do this year is see a Christian counselor.  For help with resources in the Central New Jersey area, contact sandy@217church.com.

Mercer County Church Blog Home

This week at 217church, a Mercer County contemporary Christian church, we will learn from Song of Solomon the difficult art of fighting fair with our spouse. Do you fight fair?  Learn to fight fair and your marriage will grow in intimacy and strength.

Mercer County Church Blog Home

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Fighting Fair in Marriage – Part 1

I have been married for over seventeen years and there is one thing I can promise you:  You will sin against your spouse.  Many engaged couples don’t like to hear this but once you exchange rings you know it is the truth!  Just because two people love Jesus it doesn’t mean they won’t sin against each other, and there is no such thing as happily ever after.  But there is hope as you learn to YIELD to your spouse and fight fair, NOT to win.  These next two weeks we will look at 10 ways to fight fair in your marriage.

 “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards.”  Song of Solomon 2:15

10 Ways To Fight Fair In Your Marriage

1. Confront with Respect – Are you afraid of confrontation?  Depending on your personality style and how you were raised, your home of origin, or difficult past experiences, you may perceive any conflict or confrontation as an emotionally crushing experience, and RUN at the first sight of confrontation.  You can change this pattern by choosing to confront with respect.  If you choose not to, this can lead to years and years of pain and eventually deep bitterness. Many of us first have to face our fear of confrontation and learn to respect.  People who don’t fight fair use words like, NEVER, ALWAYS and constantly threaten.  Cut down on the drama and show respect for your mate.  Lower your tone, use words of love and NEVER say words that devalue the character of your spouse.  After all, according to the bible, you are “one flesh.” Treat your body with respect.  According to 1 John 4:18, “perfect love casts out all fear.”  Love and respect enough and the fear of confrontation will subside.

2. Don’t Let The Sun Go Down – This sounds simple but is difficult to implement.  This means you have to communicate often.  This doesn’t mean you become religious about finding fault in your spouse, and become a constant complainer, but it does mean that you may actually learn to love the faults in your spouse.  Find time in the day to text, chat and communicate.  A little proactive communication can go a long way to stop the conflict from escalating.  If you put off the conversation too long, it will just explode later.

3. Right Time and The Right Place – Maybe you have heard the phrase, there is a time and place for everything.  This basically means, plan your times to communicate, this includes time to disagree and work things out.  Think ahead!  Many times we get in trouble because we have bad timing.  We fight hungry, we fight spontaneously, and we fight with limited time.  State exactly what is bothering you.  You have probably heard the saying, “time heals all wounds”.  This does not apply to conflicts in marriage.  Time actually can fester and open up old wounds. Remember, timing is everything.

4. Keep Short Accounts – Stick to the subject at hand. Keep it about today.  One of the common mistakes couples make is by eventually bringing up old wounds in a current conversation.  All of the sudden a disagreement about division of labor in the house turns into a one hour battle about a year ago when he said he would do something and dropped the ball.  If you can’t forgive your spouse, why should you expect Jesus to forgive you?  I didn’t say you should let someone take advantage of you, but you need to be willing to forgive.  You can tell how close you are in your relationship with Jesus by the amount of forgiveness you extend to your spouse.  When are you going to forgive her?

5. Your Spouse is Right – One of the hardest lessons to learn in marriage is perception is reality to my spouse.  Even when I don’t think I am being harsh or difficult, if my spouse perceives it, it’s true.  This is a point of humility in marriage.  Remember, you married her.  If you think he is being over-sensitive, you married him.  If you think he is difficult to talk to, you married him.  Marriage can make you more like Jesus than any other relationship I know of.  Learn to be wrong!  Swallow your pride and yield to you lover.  No matter what the argument is about–money, sex, time, work, if you want to grow in your marriage, you better start yielding.  If your spouse says you do, then it’s true. Believe your spouse.  They know you better than anyone.

This week at 217church we will learn from Song of Solomon the difficult art of negotiating and yielding to our spouse. Do you fight fair?  Learn to fight fair and your marriage will grow in intimacy and strength.  We will discover the next 5 next week.

 

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3 Years of 217church – Every Story Counts

This Sunday is a HUGE day for our church.  We celebrate three years of being a church “creating environments where people can meet and follow Jesus!”  This has been our vision statement from Day 1.  Where have these three years gone?  I could tell you story after story of lives transformed because of Jesus and His tangible acts of love shown by our 217church family.  I could tell you about a single mom who was baptized at our first baptism in the Washington Crossing River and sensed new hope in Jesus.  I could tell you about a young woman who has recovered from an abusive past, discovered the grace of Jesus and is now pouring her life into young teenagers so they don’t have to endure the same struggles she endured.  I could tell you about children who have found a relationship with Jesus.  I could tell you about our Children’s and youth ministry that is ministering in places in Trenton that need to hear of Jesus.  I could tell you of business owners and entrepreneurs who are now using their influence to bring people to Jesus because of 217church.  We are a church where Every Story Counts!

“Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in, how Jerusalem lies in ruins with its gates burned. Come, let us build the wall.”  Nehemiah 2:17

 Here Are Some of The Ways God Has Used You

#1 141 Restored Lives – We like to say, we are the church for people who aren’t here yet.  Here is the list of 141 names of people who we have baptized into a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Starting a church is a covenant building experience.  Revealing a sign of hope and love from a savior, who never leaves and always extends the hand of grace, is what we are about.  When you read their names, it’s just print on paper, but truly they are lives and families transformed.  I can’t wait for the next 141!

Phil Robertson, Christine Johnson, Crystal Morgan, Lynda Ferguson, Laurie Robertson, Sandy Rivera, Amanda Kline, Stephen Constantinou, Andrew Constantinou, Michelle Watson, Danny Baumann, Butch Hamilton, Josh Rivas, Jill Larsen, Melissa MacCollum, Caitlin Condit, Lisa Flores, Lily Mahaney, Liza Vargas, Jamie Vargas, Arlynet Tovar, Steven Gotthelf, Kyle Graf, Diana Garcia, Sharon Geiger, Natalya Rivera, Juan Rivera IV, Howard Anderson, Brandyn Lichtenstein, Laura Shapanus, Bill Shapanus, Alyse Canciello, Monica Quiroz, Cristiana Galang, Becca Solis, Krista Galang, Andrew Albert, Joe Corso, Lilly Conn, Titus Conn, Kathryn Nieves, Mimi Kabia, Chad Nelson, Kristi Costanzo, Keith Cline, Katie Johnson, Terri Svecz, Sean Gordon, Alex Svecz, Collin Spurgin, Matt Spurgin, Lonzetta Rush, James Rush, Jason Kingsley, Gary Jakubicki, Sally Hutchings, Josh Schmalbach, Leonard Simon, Denise Stremlo, Mike Kirk, Chrisha Kirk, Mark Forman, Kevin Cordas, Shelly Cordas, Steve Cosenza, Debbie Cosenza, Dione Springer, Gabrielle Cobb, Luis Valdivieso, Toni-Ann Rotondi, Cristina Cobb-Adams, Anthony Anglin, Jason Flintosh, Nicole Jemine, Jason Parker, Gina Sparacio, Flynt Tuller, Flynt Jr. Tuller, Jill Brown, Jay Rodriguez, Pete Ruffini, Allie Guerrero, Jaime Vargas, Patti Ann Ridgway, Lauren Velarde, Corrine Hunsher, Sonny Esteron, Derek Sander, Deb Stewart, Willie Rivera, Cindy Chavez, Jhoi Ortiz, Katie Hawver, David Robertiello, Nick Labella, Lindsay Clayton, Sandra Lupo, Devon Smith, Michael Ettinger, Pollorn Sayasack, Jessica Rivas, Tiffany Rivas, Nick D’Mauro, Jeanie Leung, Cathy Szymanski, John Baldino, Racheal Jones, Eve Green, Maria Cobena, Liz Perez, Cathy Szyanski, Kathleen Contreras, Christian Servellon, Christina Baranowski, Daniela Vinci, Naylon Larane, Adrien Ong, Racquel Smith, Brittney Blackburn, Alcmenia Dunbar, Natalia Hernandez, Santina Hernandez, Corina Hernandez, Courtney Arbitell, Joclyn Hernandez, Dania Hernandez, Miriam Hernandez, Tsunami Martinez, Johanna Martinez, Kimberly Hopkins, Linda Monforte, Maria Rodriguez, Yolanda Drislane, Kristen Moore, Janet Russell, Trevor Jones, Sixto Irizarry, Shanera Hampton, Jessica Suessegger, Sherenne Simon, Alfredo Marin.  Every Story Counts!

#2 People Finding Deep Relationships – In one of our 17 small groups that meet in 11 different townships, you will find people who are serving the community.  On any given week, we have over 250 people meeting together, caring for one another deeply.  We visit each other when in the hospital, we pray for each other, study the bible together and we take care of each other.  We even have one group who paid off a person’s credit card debt to give them a fresh start financially. (Now you are saying…”I want in!”)  Every Story Counts!

#3 Over 2 Million Dollars Worth of Generosity – In these three years over Two Million dollars has been given to the vision of 217church!  Through generous hearts you have given to church planting, the next generation fund, provided for practical needs of countless people hurting in our community, provided a place for us to meet on Sundays, sent kids to camps, provided for all our equipment and empowered our pastors and staff to live and do ministry in the community.  Your generosity is proving Every Story Counts!

#4 An Incredible Youth & Children’s Ministry – Each week 140 kids and youth hear about the love of Jesus through our dynamic 217kids and 217youth ministries.  Psalm 46:13 says, “tell the next Generation this is God.” We have taken this to heart and are serious about making the next generation our #1 priority.  We now have a partnership with Urban Promise in Trenton and are working hard to bring the Gospel of Jesus to students in Trenton through after school programs.  It’s just the beginning of seeing our influence soar.  They will write the story after we are off the scene and we are empowering them NOW!  Their Story Counts!

#5 Over 430 People Every Weekend in Worship – Every week we celebrate big and our celebrations just keep getting bigger and BIGGER!  We started planning this church in a living room with 20 people and now every week over 400 gather!  We preach the word, worship passionately, pray boldly and we make it a HUGE celebration.  We make a big deal of the Gospel of Jesus and every week over 50 people serve to make these celebrations happen.  Our 217church co-worker team is nothing short of incredible!  Week in and week out for 150+ Sundays, so many have heard about Jesus and are following him because of these celebrations proving Every Story Counts!


One Final Note:

I am humbled and privileged to serve as your pastor.  I couldn’t have scripted it better.  You are what I am proud of.  You have made my life and the life of my family richer and full of meaning. We love you all!

Josh & Summer Lilly, Titus & Lydia

 

Join in The HUGE CELEBRATION This Weekend…

1) Two Huge Weekend Celebrations 9:30am & 11am at the AMC 24

2) Our 3rd anniversary party at our Youth Center at 3pm. (yes it’s 2/17 day!)

3) Finally, end the day with an evening baptism with our sister church, Element Church at Princeton Alliance Church.

This is going to be AWESOME!

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Physical Intimacy and Marriage

In the beginning of the bible we see the first man, Adam.  God noticed something about him that to this day every man has to be thankful for, “it was not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18.  Being alone meant there was a part of him that was missing.  So God intervened.  He stepped in and did something for the man.  He put him to sleep because God deeply cared about him.  Then, you know the story, he fashioned out of the man something beautiful, unique, and obviously attractive and special to the man.  He created a WOMAN!  (All the husbands said, “Thank you Jesus”)  But Satan came in and immediately tried to destroy their covenant with God and their love for each other.  Because of original sin, so many couples struggle with their physical intimacy.  If you find yourself in a place as a husband and a wife where your sexual intimacy is struggling or non-existent, there is hope. 

“Marriage exists to make you holy before it exists to make you happy“

Marriage is not designed for you to get everything you want, but to learn how to not get everything you want.  This goes totally against the narcissism we see in our sexualized culture. This post is designed to deepen your intimacy with your spouse, as well as give you hope for your physical intimacy with your spouse.  Some of you have given up on this area of your relationship, some of you are in a downward spiral, and still others are just really confused about sex and the different opportunities and challenges you may face. I know I have many single readers and I hope this will be an eye opener as to what physical intimacy in marriage might look like.  Let me encourage you by giving you three benefits we see in the book of Song of Solomon to deepen your sex life.  These are meant to encourage you as you learn to be a lover that serves your spouse.  My prayer for you is that God will intervene in a powerful way and use sex in your marriage to strengthen you in three powerful ways.

Three Benefits of Married Sex

1.  Provides Rest – The PLACE of rest is extremely important.  In Song of Solomon 1:14 there is a place referred to called Engedi.  “My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi.” David hid at this safe place from Saul when he threatened his very life.  When life is pursuing you and you feel like you can’t go on, find a place for love with your spouse and experience rest.  The world moves at a frenetic pace, yet intimacy was never meant to be on a “to-do list.”  When you are with your lover, it is to be a holy time set aside for you to experience each other in a way that benefits each other.  This always must be done in a way that serves the other.  This means that selfishness has no place in the bedroom or in any of your love-making sessions.  It is hard to find a place of rest if your spouse is demanding your body.  What does the place of Engedi look like for you?  This may seem like common sense but here are some suggestions to fashion a safe-place for physical intimacy between you and your spouse.

  • A lock on the door –  Got kids?  Well there you go.  If you don’t have a lock then, men, drag yourself down to the hardware store and figure it out.
  • A relaxing environment-  Get rid of the clutter, ditch the bedroom TV and put away the pictures of your mother.  Replace all that with some sensuous things that calm and sooth you.  Music, soft blankets, softer lighting and scented candles are all things that can enhance your bedroom.  Maybe you should invest in some new bedroom sheets?  Whatever it is you do, be intentional about creating a restful place for your loving.

2.  Provides Refuge – The EMOTIONS of life can be draining and leave you asking the question, is there any end in sight?  Physical intimacy was created by God to provide a man and a woman a balance in their emotional health.  This is why Proverbs 5:18 says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth“.  That sounds pretty desirable to me.  Physical intimacy can heal and literally recharge your emotional batteries.  As a matter of fact, we know that one of  the top reasons couples get divorced is because of a lack of physical intimacy.  Where there is a withholding or a bitterness, there will be emotional strain.  This is NO excuse for getting a divorce, but an opportunity if you are willing to put in the hard work to experience the restoration power of the Gospel of Jesus in marriage in an incredibly powerful way.  Restoring physical intimacy in marriage may be the most difficult thing you have ever done, but take heart and remain true to your marriage vows.  God will honor you!  In a world that demands, demands, demands, physical intimacy can bring us a safe place of refuge where we learn to love and serve sacrificially, even in the bedroom.  Appreciation and unconditional acceptance should be marks of a refuge environment.

3.  Provides Refreshment – Sexual intimacy can offer you and your spouse a refreshment that is like no other relationship on earth.  God designed it that way.  Remember, it was not good for man to be alone, so refreshment is part of God’s plan for your married life.  One thing for those of you who are anticipating marriage:  Not every time you experience physical intimacy with your spouse is going to be a cloud nine experience, but they all can be refreshing!  Here are a few different types of sexual interactions that might help you be realistic going forward in your sexual intimacy:

  • The snack –  This is just what it sounds like.  It isn’t long and drawn out, but it has been referred to as a “quickie.”  (Wow, I can’t believe I just said that on my blog).  It is well, quick.  You won’t always have time to put on a big production, nor does ‘it’ have to be a big production.  But passion can flow between a husband and wife powerfully in a snack. You get it?  I thought so, enough said.
  • The meal – You get the analogy by now right?  This is just what it sounds like.  When you have a little more time, a place that you have set aside together, and you are both ready, you can share a meal together.
  • The feast – This feast my happen at different milestones in your relationship, birthdays, anniversaries or maybe no reason at all, just to plan a feast together.  Feasts are usually less frequent.  Just a heads up though for guys especially: You know how at Thanksgiving all the food is served at the table and it’s all “hot”?  IT TAKES A LOT OF PLANNING.  It is more like an orchestra production and less like a solo recording.  Catch my drift?  If you expect to have a feast every time you have sex, you will most likely be disappointed.  A lot of planning and diligent care to the DETAILS will communicate love and acceptance towards your spouse.

I know this is not an easy topic to talk about, and as a pastor, I know that some people don’t think I should be talking this honest and open.  But if we let the culture, and not the bible educate us and our children about sex, we are being ripped off!  God planned sex for us inside of the covenant of marriage for one man and one woman for one lifetime.  Let’s do it right!

If you feel like there is no hope, remember, a healthy marriage relationship will be built on forgiveness. Let this verse encourage you: 

“…forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:13

Josh

Join us for our Song of Solomon series this week, THE MARRIAGE “When Boy Meets Girl” Series this Sunday at the AMC 24 in Hamilton, NJ 9:30am & 11:00am:

  • February 10 – The Marriage (What it means to be a servant lover)

To watch last weeks message at 217church about “The Wedding” Click Here

 

 

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What Makes Marriage Work?

The other day I looked around the house and asked a simple question:  What can I do to make Summer’s life easier? (Summer is my wife)  as I looked around the house, it wasn’t that hard. The window coverings that had been torn down by the dog, the to do list on my phone that said, “printer for Summer.” The clothes in the laundry room seemed to scream out, “fold me!”  I have been married for 22 years now and one thing is for sure, a wedding and a marriage are two TOTALLY different things!  Anyone can plan a wedding, but a lifetime of marriage takes an INCREDIBLE amount of diligence and commitment.  It never ceases to amaze me how a couple will spend $25,000+ on their wedding and go into debt, (that is the average amount spent on weddings in New Jersey) and then be unwilling to see a counselor that may cost them a few hundred dollars, but could save their marriage.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”   Genesis 2:24

Don’t ever forget you are one with your husband or wife.  EVERYTHING you do affects them and EVERYTHING they do affects you.  Every decision and thought you have is a thought they are having.  Marriage is the one relationship by which we understand Jesus deeper than any other relationship, because it teaches us selflessness.  But what are some keys to practically make your marriage work?

5 Keys To Make Your Marriage Work

1.  Persistent Prayer – I meet very few couples who actually pray for and with each other consistently.  I remember dating Summer we would wake up at 6:00 AM and go into the chapel on our college campus and actually pray together.  (No, we didn’t use the time to make out!) A healthy prayer life together is the launch pad to selflessly approaching your spouse.  I am constantly thinking of ways I can help Summer and prayer often leads me to these moments of discovery about her.  The most important and meaningful text I get in a day is when she types these simple words and presses send, “Praying for you today.”

2.  Consistent Communication – Man I am terrible at this one!  I have improved, but I am naturally an inconsistent, incoherent, infrequent communicator.  Even writing these words is reminding me to set a time with Summer to talk about our calendar, vacation and just things I know she would like to connect about.  Here are some tactics that may help your communication.

  • Keep it down –  As you approach difficult topics to talk about, and you will have them, keep your voice tone in a range that communicates care and concern.  I feel bad when I see couples ripping each other apart with their words in public.  If you do that in public, what are you doing in private?  Man, that must be one intense fight! 
  • Keep it tactical – There are times when Summer and I have a “staff meeting.”  This is when we talk about all the details of the schedule of the coming weeks and months.  The appointments, work schedules, evening meetings, karate classes, baseball games etc.  Intuitively, we both despise these tactical meetings, but we do them because they help us get on the same page!
  • Keep it sensual – Words can soften a moment.  I don’t think Summer ever tires of hearing, “I love you” as long as it is backed with action.  Finding creative specific ways to tell your spouse how much you are in love with them as your friend and lover will bring new life in your marriage.

3.  Physical Passion – Sex is a good thing!  Sex is a God thing!  Making time for each other in the bedroom is and can be a launch pad to deeper intimacy in marriage.  The bible has plenty to say about the refreshment and healing offered through sexual relationship between a husband and a wife.  A great book to read together is “Intimacy Ignited“.  It specifically address the issue of sexual intimacy in marriage from a biblical perspective.

4.  Regular Rest –  Marriage works when you figure out how to build in breaks and take them together.  This will vary from season to season in your married life.  If you are young and married and have no kids, you usually have no excuse to not get away together!  If you have younger kids, this is going to be a challenge for you!  Learning how to take a sabbath together is one of the most important parts of marriage.  It reunites you in every way.  I always encourage the man to take the lead in planning these times initially. Book the hotel room, the reservation, the flight, etc!  Your bride will no doubt appreciate your effort and see it as an act of love.  Three types of sabbath:

  • The Spontaneous –  Call her for lunch, swing by and pick her up, surprise her with a morning coffee date, go into work an hour later.  Whatever it is, be CREATIVE! 
  • The Routine- This is date night, card night, whatever you love to do together!  Make it a ritual and let nothing get in the way of it.  Summer and I want to be known as the couple that is always seen on dates together.  Remember, YOUR CHILDREN ARE LEARNING MARRIAGE from you!
  • The Feast – This is when you getaway at least for a weekend together.  Do what you love, invest in each other, read books together.  Make a memory together.  One of my favorite weekend getaways together was when we rented a cabin in October in Sunriver, Oregon.  The place was empty.  We got massages and it was like the whole resort existed for us.  It was AWESOME!  We also read a book together and dreamed about our future.  That was almost 9 years ago and we talked about what we are doing now.

5.  Selfless Serving – I have never met a couple who made it who gave fifty/fifty!  If you are reading this and are single and want your marriage to work, you better be all in 100%!  This means you get to do stuff that you don’t necessarily want to do, but you learn to love it because you will do anything for your spouse.  The bible actually says that husbands are supposed to lay down our lives for our wife!  That is pretty intense!  Try this one today men:  Take the thing she knows you “don’t like to do” and just do it!  I guarantee her response will be positive.  But don’t do it for the response, do it because she is more valuable to you than anything.  Likewise, the same goes for women.  Pick something that he absolutely loves and serve him in that way.

What about you?  What makes your marriage work?

Josh

Josh lives in Hamilton, NJ with his wife Summer and six kids.  He is the founding pastor of 217church, a contemporary church in Mercer County NJ.  217church meets Sundays at 9:30am & 11:00am at Sharon Elementary school in Robbinsville, NJ. Visit www.217church.com for more information, or watch a weekend message here

For speaking engagements please e-mail josh@activatecoaching.com

 

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Hope For Your Family

I remember visiting my grandparent’s house every day after school growing up.  My brothers and I would walk to their house and we would get to spend a couple hours there before my father would come and pick us up.  Some of my earliest and favorite memories are of those times with my grandfather.  We would sit and talk about life and just be together.  I will never forget when I would walk in that house, with its old creaky screen door, he would always be there to listen to me.  As I was reflecting back this week on my family and the four generations I have known, my family is where it is today because of the covenant of the marriage relationship.  My parents, the link for me to my grandparents,  have been married for 43 years and counting.  They are still relying on Jesus for hope for their marriage, the backbone of any family. There is great hope for our families because of the covenant of marriage.

The covenant of marriage links generations together from old to young

How Do We Build Strong Families?  Choices.

Life is full of choices, actually endless choices.  What to wear, what to eat, where to live, what profession to embark upon, etc. What are the key choices that give hope to you and your family?

1.  Choose Jesus – Jesus must be at the center of your life if he is going to be at the center of your family.  Everyday you have the ability to choose or reject Jesus in your life.  It’s not just about if you say you believe in Jesus, but what do you live?  Who do you live?  How do you live?

  • Your words – One of the easiest ways to see if you serve Jesus is to evaluate the words you use.  Do you spend more time building each other up or tearing each other down?
  • Your actions – Do people serve you more, or do you spend more time serving others.  If your own interests are always put above the interests of others, you may have a problem.

Action:  Spend time getting to know Jesus today

2.  Choose Your Spouse – Your marriage is the most important relationship on earth you will have.   Some of us have made that choice already and some of us are about to, but regardless, today you can make the right choice!  Choose how you love.  Unfortunately for many of us, we had bad models of marriage and love.  Maybe you didn’t have a dad that loved you, or you never had a family to call your own.  It’s okay. through Jesus, we have the ability to start a new family tree!  It starts today! Choose someone who models the following:

  • Unconditional love- The more you are with someone, the more ideally you learn to love them for who they are, not who you want them to be.  Jesus sets an example for us through the unconditional love of the sacrifice of Himself on the cross.
  • A servant’s heart – There isn’t anything much worse than being around someone who always is demanding things.  If you can find a man or a woman who serves diligently and rigorously, you have 90% of the battle won.

Action:  Pray with or for your future spouse everyday

3.  Choose Your Church Family – God gave us the church to build each other up and encourage us along the difficult road of life.  The church is about relationships and together we celebrate weddings and baby dedications.  We weep with those who weep and celebrate great joy in the successes of others.  Every week we worship together and eat together.  We serve the community with all our heart and energy.  The church may be the single biggest untapped resource in the world today.  As a matter of fact, I can say that with confidence.

Action:  Get in A small group (e-mail dan@217church.com)

My Conclusion – Begin with the end in mind.  Some day I want to hold my grandchild’s hand because by God’s grace he has given us the hope of the world, Jesus.  Then someday, Jesus will hold my hand.  We choose to honor the covenant of marriage and the church is here for our benefit.  Let’s be the church that stands for the family.

Josh

Join us for our Song of Solomon, “When Boy Meets Girl” Series starting this Sunday at the AMC 24 in Hamilton, NJ 9:30am & 11:00am:

  • January 27 – The Date (A frank and honest look at dating in our culture)
  • February 3 – The Wedding (Examining what a healthy sexual relationship looks like)

 

 

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100 New Churches For New Jersey

Listen To Our New Plant Jersey Podcast    Episode #1:    What to Look For In A Leader

Matt Murphy and I have been partners in ministry over the last 6+ years. We, both along with Boyd Hannold of Princeton Alliance Church, embarked on a vision to reach New Jersey with the Gospel through church planting.  I led the first Plant, 217church, and Matt is leading the 2nd church plant, Element Church. It is our goal to start with 4 “Hub” church plants that ultimately plant hundreds of NJ contemporary churches. Will you pray with us and for us as we pursue God’s dream for the church in New Jersey? It is our prayer that the Gospel transforms and brings revival through church planting in New Jersey.  We are calling this PLANT JERSEY.

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”  Mark 2:17

The Plant Jersey Vision:   “Extending the Gospel in the Garden State through church planting”

Matt and I spend a lot of time talking about what we are learning and then we take our learning from each other back to our churches. It is a benefit to both of us to learn from one another. In our many conversations we came to the conclusion that our church leaders could learn from what each of us have to say. We have done pulpit swaps, co-taught our staff, mentored different leaders at each others churches, and have had combined baptism services. There is a lot of unity between our 2 church plants. We want to see both churches as catalysts for revival. So, we decided to launch a monthly podcast for the leaders of Element Church and 217church.

The Plant Jersey Podcast

This podcast is to communicate leadership principles that we have learned as we have planted in Jersey. New Jersey is a different culture and many ways a culture unto itself. As we looked around, many of the church leadership concepts we have seen are geared toward other cultural contexts and we wanted to give some teachings that will be very relevant to our leaders. Hopefully this podcast will serve to help anyone seeking to Plant in Jersey. We hope that anyone serving Jesus in New Jersey will learn and enter the dialogue with us. If you are currently a church planter or pastor in New Jersey we would love to learn from you as well and possibly have you help us teach our leaders. Ultimately, we want to help anyone with the vision to plant churches in New Jersey. If you are passionate about reaching New Jersey for Jesus let us know so that we can pray with you.

Podcast #1 What To Look For In A Leader 

Click Here to listen  or  itunes users Click Here

The first podcast which you can find on this blog post is called “What to look for in a leader.” As church planters we have so many people ask us about being in leadership at our respective churches.  Identifying leaders is the greatest challenge of growing any endeavor.  We will look at 4 key traits we look for in developing leaders.  People who love Jesus, love people, love the vision, and love self discipline.  As church planters we have to be careful in the early stages of a church plant who we entrust leadership to. We hope this helps as we discuss what we look for in leaders at Element and 217church.

Josh